so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
