Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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