im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
