Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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