I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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