i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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