There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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