Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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