Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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