8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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