you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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