It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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