he puts the penis in happiness.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
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it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
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I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.