she was so not down for the gang bang
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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