i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
