gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
