Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
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I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
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My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize