Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
