Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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