Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa