What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect