One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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