we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
