I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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