I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.