Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
