i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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