im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
