it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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