Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
