For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
