3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
