If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
