I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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