either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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