I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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