She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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