I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
