dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
