You smell like a Billy Joel song
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Blood and glitter go together right?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
