Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
