How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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