I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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