No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
