his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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