We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
