you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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