I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My vagina is officially offended.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
