Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
