Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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