i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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