did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
