SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
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