How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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