By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
