STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
