you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
