Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize