3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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