I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
