I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
